you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You were trust falling into bushes
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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