when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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