His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
