fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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