his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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