I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
