Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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