is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
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I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
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I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
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