so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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