So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
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Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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