Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
