i wish my penis had a tongue
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
