I could have mohawked her pubes.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
40s are totally the cure
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
