he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Randomize
