Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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