i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
