Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
