You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
