After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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