god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
