; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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