gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Randomize
