Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
