I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize