I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
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I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
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I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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