I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
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