There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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