it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
