Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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