I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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