Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
