Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
