you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
