i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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