just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize