He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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