i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
