i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
he high fived his dick after we had sex
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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