I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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