Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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