I should be sponsored by Trojan
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on a roof
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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