I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
