Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
His nipple licking is glorious
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