You really coming over, don't trick.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
