Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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