I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
