Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
