you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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