Already got asked if we're dating
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Randomize
