dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
