Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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