I'm laying in your front yard are you home
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
