Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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