Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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