You just made me feel so damn special
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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