That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
