Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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