everyone is single if you try hard enough
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
