Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
This is not my ceiling
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize